Normally, Valentines Day does not register as important to me. I don't have a significant other in my life to moon about with. And even if I did, I don't really see myself as the moon about type. Not to mention that I have never really perceived Valentines Day as a day for couples anyway. If you're in a serious relationship, you should be taking the time to honor and cherish that person everyday of the year, rather than waiting for some pink heart infested cheesy holiday.

Perceiving it as Single Pride Day is not a concept that would have occurred to me either, however, because it seems to be the other half of the coin (as in, "to make up for not being in a couple on a day for couples, I will thumb my nose at you and be prideful of my singleness"). Since I am perfectly happy being single, I don't need a day to celebrate it any more than I need a day to celebrate being in a couple. (Though I may go forth and party with my girls to celebrate life in general, but this action is no different than any other night, because it's likely that I would have gone forth to party with my girls anyway.)

Rather, I gather my perception of Valentines Day from Elementary and Junior High School, when tiny flat cards were dropped into handmade envelopes pinned to the back of desk chairs. I'm reminded of the competition to see who is most admired by counting the amount of cards received and comparing the total with friends. It was never me.

I think of Valentines Day as a day of pining. A day to crush on someone wholeheartedly. I think there is something delightfully bitter-sweet about unrequited love, as in admiring someone and loving them from a distance, maybe only for the idea of who they are or the idea of who you would be with them. It's the act of loving for the sake of loving, and even experiencing hearbreak for the sake of experiencing heartbreak.

That is why this is my favorite scene in Adaptation:

Charlie Kaufman: There was this time in high school. I was watching you out the library window. You were talking to Sarah Marsh.

Donald Kaufman: Oh, God. I was so in love with her.

Charlie: I know. And you were flirting with her. And she was being really sweet to you.

Donald: I remember that.

Charlie: Then, when you walked away, she started making fun of you with Kim Canetti. And it was like they were laughing at *me*. You didn't know at all. You seemed so happy.

Donald: I knew. I heard them.

Charlie: How come you looked so happy?

Donald: I loved Sarah, Charles. It was mine, that love. I owned it. Even Sarah didn't have the right to take it away. I can love whoever I want.

Charlie: But she thought you were pathetic.

Donald: That was her business, not mine. You are what you love, not what loves you. That's what I decided a long time ago.

Yeah, exactly like that. For me, Valentines Day is about the act of loving, not being loved. :)

What does Valentines Day mean for you?

Weekend was not so productive as I would have hoped, though I have got over 600 more words completed on my short story. I really need to force myself to be more productive than this. Ah, well.

At least this week I can launch back into my walking/marathon training days, which I am really excited about. :D

Things I MUST do this week:
-- do 3-4 marathon training days
-- complete rough draft of the new short story & edit for review
-- complete this week's brigits_flame entry

Things I HOPE to do this week:
-- post new collab channel video
-- post a personal youtube video
-- update my resume (just in case)
-- prepare and send out a poetry/short story submission submission (may happen)
-- do a sketch or two and/or get animation art pages done (could happen)
-- do morning poetry/journaling (0/7 days completed) (should happen)

I have been sick all week, to the extent that I was forced to take off work and do nothing more than lay on the couch, watch crappy reruns, and moan in a rather zombie-ish fashion. I even developed a slight fever on Wednesday for a short while. It's been a long while since I've had to take off work for being sick, especially two days in a row. It's been even longer since I've had a fever.

I am mostly recovered now with slight sniffles and a lingering cough.

Next to nothing was accomplished on my days off. I should think this understandable since accomplishing things is contradictory to getting proper rest.

However, I do have one major goal for this week, and that is hopefully to finish off the rough draft of this short story I'm writing. I'm hoping that I can get it edited in time to submit to the anthology market I started writing it for. We'll see.

* * *
I also wanted to put up my monthly book post. ( Five books read in January. )

I have been so mentally wrapped up in the combined complications of packing my belongings up for storage and preparing to go to press (both of which are overly behind schedule), that I completely forgot that I was supposed to put my weekly update post yesterday.

I did get some successful writing done last week and a received an acceptance for two poems from Cats with Thumbs, a new online literary zine put together by ying_ko_4. I enjoy his poetry, so it should be something rather good.

I got some other things done, as well, but my fried brain will not allow me to remember what they are.

Anywho, the goals, which have been rearanged to take into account this week's insanity levels.

Things I MUST do this week:
-- complete rough draft of the new short story
-- complete this week's brigits_flame entry

Things I HOPE to do this week:
-- do any marathon training days done
-- post a personal youtube video
-- update my resume (just in case)
-- prepare and send out a poetry/short story submission submission (may happen)
-- do a sketch or two and/or get animation art pages done (could happen)
-- do morning poetry/journaling (0/7 days completed) (should happen)

TITLE: Arrivals and Departures
PROMPT: Arrival
WORD COUNT: 1825
NOTES: This is my week three entry for brigits_flame.

* * * *
Dean was very confused. A mass of people filtered to and fro, like a disorganized school of fish. People chatting, luggage wheels squealing along the neutral green tiles, and automated airport announcements merged into perpetual background noise.

He wasn’t sure where he was supposed to be going. Wasn’t even sure what airport he was in, though oddly this didn’t bother him as much as it should have. He kept thinking about driving down Highway 17 and the joyful feeling of vertigo as he took the turns too fast, keeping the car one hair from a crash. Dean smiled. Something to look forward to.

( Read more... )

Serious negotiations were entered into last night over television viewing rights. I have talked to an annoying extent to family and friends about how excited I was to see the upcoming episode of Fringe. I watched and rewatched the promo for the new episode, "What Lies Below". I thought about it in my spare time day dreams (when I should have been thinking on my novel storyline) and tried to play out the episode in my own imaginations. I even dreamed out the show.

So I was quite annoyed when my sister Pilar came over, carrying Julie and Julia, insisting that she had arranged movie and wine time with my mother, and I was out to luck.

Thus, the negotiations, including the typical sibling banter involving ownership rights over something that doesn't really belong to us. During which my mom has a half startled, half amused look on her face, indicating that she might have made a miscalculation.

At some point in the back and forth dialogue, my sister says: "Just go watch in Chase's room."

To which I responded, "I'd like to see you try to get Chase off the video games long enough to let me watch my show." (Usually a near impossibility.)

At which point all three women strolled into my brothers room and accosted him about the TV usage. Of course through all this my brother just sat there, staring at us with that look, the "whatever, I guess I'll help you out, but I'm not going to actually say out loud that I'm going to help, because that would be too easy for you" look.

Thus, even though my brother gave no sign that he would give up the TV, until he actually walked out of the room when it started, I was able to watch the show.

I must admit, however, that I was slightly dissappointed. I had hyped the show so much in my own mind, believing it would be the GREATEST THING EVER that the episode could not possibly have lived up to the expectations. I would probably have enjoyed it far more if I had not seen the trailer and had not played it out in my head a thousand times. Lesson learned, I guess.

I didn't do great last week, but I didn't fail either. I did get some writing done, a poem, instead of the short story I need to work on, and no progress on my novel. Since I rather like the poem, I consider that a success.

I also didn't get any marathon training days in last week. My progress in that regard has been complicated by the fact that I've been neck deep in trying to pack up all my stuff for the move. So that in mind, this week, my marathon training will be switched to "hope to" and my packing goals will be switched to "must do".


Things I MUST do this week:
-- pack my room up for storage
-- write a minimum of 5000 words on my UAWF novel or on new short story submission
-- complete this week's brigits_flame entry
-- post a collab channel youtube video

Things I HOPE to do this week:
-- do my 3-4 marathon training days
-- post a personal youtube video (will complete today)
-- update my resume (just in case)
-- prepare and send out a poetry/short story submission submission (may happen)
-- do a sketch or two and/or get animation art pages done (could happen)
-- do morning poetry/journaling (0/7 days completed) (should happen)

This is my week 2 post for the January contest over at brigits_flame .

Destiny

In the space between
temporal and corporeal
she balances, heavy abdomen
bobbing over her web, her black
carapace gleaming, as her numerous
limbs curl and unfurl, retrieving
from the firmament fragments
of churning chaos, which she spins
into threads, trimmed to the length
of a lifetime, either long,
or lingering, or brief.

The dream, not the dreamer,
she does not design
this haphazard tapestry. The
threads arrange themselves,
according to their own will,
some drifting into the aether,
beyond her reach, some tangled
into impenetrable knots. Her eight
eyes observe the whole
of the work. Filaments glow a milky
rose, azure, crimson, ochre,
some bright, some dim,
the older ones fraying and disintegrating
in the distance, the forgotten
darkened to a deeper black
than absence.

She keeps passive witness
to this quiet cacophony of souls
coiled around her, the hushed hum
of her limbs, unfaltering,
as she knits along
to the melancholy song
of those both entangled
and free.

Meme rules: For 8 days, post something that made you happy that day.

Happy Thoughts for Day 5 (Sunday)

My happy thoughts for Sunday were pretty much spent in the avoidance of the massive hangover that was bound to attack. Except for a general sense of exhaustion due to the impromptu tequilla/gin/vodka dance party the night before. (Yep, that's my family.) I was very happy that I was not in as much pain as I should have been in. :)

Happy Thoughts for Day 6 (Yesterday)

I got to attack my cousin with a camera. No, I didn't hit her over the head. My sister gave her a fancy new haircut, and insisted that she have pictures for her records. My cousin did not want her pictures taken. I was allowed to force her ... and then I took far more photos that were necessary. The final photo is of my cousin flipping me off, which called an end to the photo shoot. I am easily amused. *evil giggle*

Happy Thoughts for Day 7 (Today!)

One would not think that there was such a thing as productive procrastination. But I have proved today that there is (albeit it tends to be mixed with unproductive procrastination), for while procrastinating at my office work, I have managed to prepare a poetry submission and in other ways been productive at my personal work. I realize that this may not entirely a good thing, it nevertheless amuses me. Which is all that matters.

Even though the weekend was consumed by entertaining family, I managed to feel somewhat accomplished this week. I posted two youtube videos, an amazing achievement for me, as it's usually a struggle to just complete one. I walked two out of the minimum of three days for marathon training (I do need to step it up beyond just walking and start getting some running in again).

I also wrote almost a thousand words on a new short story. So far it's going well and I think I have the entire story planned out in my head. I've posted an edited excerpt for my brigits_flame entry for this week, so you can go read my beginnings if you'd like.

However, happy I am with the short story, though, I still need to get back to working on the novel. I'm finding it hard to keep working at it without the constant pressure from Nano, but it needs to happen. It really does, because this constantly writing and progressing toward my goal is the only way that I'll get around to this whole being "professional" thing.


Things I MUST do this week:
-- do my 3-4 marathon training days
-- write a minimum of 5000 words on my UAWF novel
-- complete this week's brigits_flame entry
-- post a collab channel youtube video

Things I HOPE to do this week:
-- post a personal youtube video (will complete today)
-- update my resume (just in case)
-- prepare and send out a poetry/short story submission submission (may happen)
-- do a sketch or two and/or get animation art pages done (could happen)
-- do morning poetry/journaling (0/7 days completed) (should happen)

Meme rules: For 8 days, post something that made you happy that day.

Happy Thoughts for Day 4

I just took a walk down to the local coffee shop. It's about a mile away and I walked along the trails, saying hello to all the people passing by. The sky is gray, but the day is just warm enough so that the walk was pleasant. At the coffee shop I had my usual mocha along with a cookie as a special treat. Then I chatted with my friend for a while before walking back. It was a perfect morning. :)

* * *

My aunt and cousin are in town, so we're all hanging out. But this afternoon will be spent in packing up my bedroom for storage, which is an interesting process, because it's hard to judge what I'll need immediate access to or not, especially when dealing with paperwork. I also need to figure out what all I need to transfer over to the new address. It's a lot of work, but it'll be good to get it all done.