I meant to post this last week, but ran out time before I headed to Clear Lake for the weekend. Last Wednesday, I had a fabulous time watching Ani DiFranco perform at the Mountain Winery in Saratoga. I've noticed a progression in her writing. Her earlier writing mostly focused on politics as well as romantic entanglements, and was often quite angry. She still writes about relationships and is still deeply political, but she has incorporated a sense of spirituality into her writing that didn't seem as prevalent before. She seems (to me) to be approaching her politics from a more peaceful place, like she has come to some deeper understanding within herself, that though one needs to speak out against the wrongs of the world, one doesn't need to carry that anger and hate and darkness into themselves and their own lives. I see clearly that she has grown as a person and as a writer, and she dazzles me more and more.

While at the concert, however, I overheard a conversation that went something like this.

Girl 1: Where are my women at?
Girl 2 (with a tone of disdain): That's degrading, you know. You're reducing me to a gender. That's totally degrading.
Girl 1: Oh...um...I...I guess...Where are my humans at? *sheepish smile*

Several things bothered me about this conversation.

First, Girl 1 had clearly meant no harm. She had approached her group, excited about just buying an Ani t-shirt, and joyous of being there, only to be reproached for a completely innocent comment. (I address my friends as "my girls" all the time.)

Second, based on tone of voice and body language, Girl 2 was enacting her superiority over Girl 1. Her words were clearly meant to make Girl 1 feel small for her ignorance about what was "politically correct" according to Girl 2's world view. And it worked, because Girl 1 immediately became smaller, withdrew in terms of her body language, and was left hemming and hawing, killing her sense of joy from only a moment before. Girl 2's response in this instance was clearly more degrading than what Girl 1 had said and meant as a light-hearted sign of friendship.

I'm disturbed by the kinds of people who use feminism and politically correctness as a throne of superiority. It comes to mind, those feminists who trash women who get a breast implant (I know many wise women who have done this). Anyone who does not subscribe exactly to their world view is inherently inferior. A point of view I consider just as hurtful as sexists or racists, since it demeans otherwise good hearted and kind people who just happen to have gentler way of living.

Third, Girl 2 is in fact a woman. The idea that she finds it degrading to labeled a woman implies that she in some way finds womanhood inferior. I personally am proud to be a woman (and if I were a man, I would be proud to be a man). Therefore being addressed a woman is a compliment to my status in the world. I am not being reduced, or made smaller. I stand taller. (Heh heh, rhyme.)

I could perhaps understand Girl 2's frustration if she had been addressed as "my bitches", which has a misogynistic ugliness, or even if she had been addressed as "my girls", which could imply an infantile need to be taken care of. The deeper implications of those words (if one chooses to read into the implications instead of the joy of the moment) can be understood as grounds for gentle correction, if Girl 2 was really bothered by them. However, any woman who is proud of her place in the world as a woman, should not be upset when addressed as so, especially when nothing derogatory was carried with it.

Finally, I am of the firm opinion that life is too short to be wasting my time worrying about small things like that. I do not get offended easily. Not because I am idle in my ideals, but because being angry and frustrated takes away from those moments in which I could be experiencing calm and peace and joy. Most of the time what is said is said innocently, or at least in jest.

Besides, I believe it was Eleanore Roosevelt who said "No one can make you feel inferior without your permission." In the end, your own sense of peace and joy belong to you. No one can take them away unless you let them. I hope both Girl 1 and Girl 2 learn that, and I hope Girl 2 finds enough confidence within herself that she doesn't need to belittle another to feel comfortable. In fact, I hope we can all learn those things.

My goals for this week are pretty much a continuation from last week:

-- download WordPress, upload to my hostsite, and decide on a site style
-- write content for personal webpage
-- begin creating zombie project spreadsheets
-- post new youtube video
-- get a few animation art pages done
-- do a sketch or two
-- continue writing the Cassandra short story (hopefully 100 words a day)
-- prepare and send out a poetry submission
-- do morning exercises (0/7 days)
-- get 2 or 3 walks in
-- no erroneous channel flipping or video games during the work week