I meant to post this last week, but ran out time before I headed to Clear Lake for the weekend. Last Wednesday, I had a fabulous time watching Ani DiFranco perform at the Mountain Winery in Saratoga. I've noticed a progression in her writing. Her earlier writing mostly focused on politics as well as romantic entanglements, and was often quite angry. She still writes about relationships and is still deeply political, but she has incorporated a sense of spirituality into her writing that didn't seem as prevalent before. She seems (to me) to be approaching her politics from a more peaceful place, like she has come to some deeper understanding within herself, that though one needs to speak out against the wrongs of the world, one doesn't need to carry that anger and hate and darkness into themselves and their own lives. I see clearly that she has grown as a person and as a writer, and she dazzles me more and more.

While at the concert, however, I overheard a conversation that went something like this.

Girl 1: Where are my women at?
Girl 2 (with a tone of disdain): That's degrading, you know. You're reducing me to a gender. That's totally degrading.
Girl 1: Oh...um...I...I guess...Where are my humans at? *sheepish smile*

Several things bothered me about this conversation.

First, Girl 1 had clearly meant no harm. She had approached her group, excited about just buying an Ani t-shirt, and joyous of being there, only to be reproached for a completely innocent comment. (I address my friends as "my girls" all the time.)

Second, based on tone of voice and body language, Girl 2 was enacting her superiority over Girl 1. Her words were clearly meant to make Girl 1 feel small for her ignorance about what was "politically correct" according to Girl 2's world view. And it worked, because Girl 1 immediately became smaller, withdrew in terms of her body language, and was left hemming and hawing, killing her sense of joy from only a moment before. Girl 2's response in this instance was clearly more degrading than what Girl 1 had said and meant as a light-hearted sign of friendship.

I'm disturbed by the kinds of people who use feminism and politically correctness as a throne of superiority. It comes to mind, those feminists who trash women who get a breast implant (I know many wise women who have done this). Anyone who does not subscribe exactly to their world view is inherently inferior. A point of view I consider just as hurtful as sexists or racists, since it demeans otherwise good hearted and kind people who just happen to have gentler way of living.

Third, Girl 2 is in fact a woman. The idea that she finds it degrading to labeled a woman implies that she in some way finds womanhood inferior. I personally am proud to be a woman (and if I were a man, I would be proud to be a man). Therefore being addressed a woman is a compliment to my status in the world. I am not being reduced, or made smaller. I stand taller. (Heh heh, rhyme.)

I could perhaps understand Girl 2's frustration if she had been addressed as "my bitches", which has a misogynistic ugliness, or even if she had been addressed as "my girls", which could imply an infantile need to be taken care of. The deeper implications of those words (if one chooses to read into the implications instead of the joy of the moment) can be understood as grounds for gentle correction, if Girl 2 was really bothered by them. However, any woman who is proud of her place in the world as a woman, should not be upset when addressed as so, especially when nothing derogatory was carried with it.

Finally, I am of the firm opinion that life is too short to be wasting my time worrying about small things like that. I do not get offended easily. Not because I am idle in my ideals, but because being angry and frustrated takes away from those moments in which I could be experiencing calm and peace and joy. Most of the time what is said is said innocently, or at least in jest.

Besides, I believe it was Eleanore Roosevelt who said "No one can make you feel inferior without your permission." In the end, your own sense of peace and joy belong to you. No one can take them away unless you let them. I hope both Girl 1 and Girl 2 learn that, and I hope Girl 2 finds enough confidence within herself that she doesn't need to belittle another to feel comfortable. In fact, I hope we can all learn those things.

I always feel disturbed to find out about things like the AmazonFail. I just don't understand why a company would cut out a portion of their profits for the sake of a ridiculous prejudice. Lame. Lame to the extreme.

ETA: I must learn to be non-jump-to-conclusions girl. Which is to say, that this whole situation may be a whole lot more complicated than Amazon simply de-ranking GTLB literature. As one person pointed out, other groups may have "gamed the system" in order to more or less ban certain books. Which means that there are flaws both in people and the system here.

My point is that I have a tendency to read one post from these kinds of controversies and comment based only on information from one source. I must learn to read several sources before I jump into posting my own thoughts. A good practice for most people, I'm sure.

Today is a good day.

I thought this was very cool. The city of Silverton, Oregon elected the United States' first transgender mayor, which I see as a sign that people can be accepting of those who seem different. It's progress in my book.

I'm not quite sure what I think about ABC's choice to use "he" instead of "she" as the pronoun since Rasmussen is male-trans-female, and my limited understanding of the situation is that that would be her choice as that is her current gender. Please (gently) correct me if I'm wrong.

I should be feeling elated right now, because as many have already said, this was a historic election with a historic win. And really, deep down, I am thrilled that Obama won. It's such a hopeful thing.

And yet, the disappointment that California passed Prop 8 is overshadowing my ability to feel joy. In fact, I feel rather sick about the whole Prop 8 thing. I can't imagine the level of disappointment that some of my friends are going through right now as they come to realize that their marriages may no longer be valid.

*sigh*

Copy this sentence into your livejournal if you're in a heterosexual marriage/relationship (or if you think you might be someday), and you don't want it "protected" by the bigots who think that gay marriage hurts it somehow.


I'm with msagara on this. Go read her post. 

I've been seeing all these pro-prop 8 commercials on TV, and the ones that annoy me the most have to do with the idea that schools would teach that gay marriage was okay in schools. God forbid! God forbid, that children be taught to be accepting of different lifestyles, that they be taught that discrimination is wrong, that they be taught to accept people for being people rather than some category. Oye! i just don't get people sometimes.

On a similar note, here's a video: How to save your marriage*.


*Note: the video is intended to be sarcastic.

Yep. I sent my mail-in ballot in yesterday. I found it to be a slightly annoying process, since it wasn't all that easy to access information on the "smaller" stuff. I kept have to flip back and forth through several books trying to make sure I have all the information on the propositions and the local officials before I vote on them. And some of them didn't even have all the information, or the U.S. Representatives, for example were not in any of the books at all. One office was listed for District 23 in the book, and District 25 on my ballot, which made the information useless. And even if all the information was there, often the propositions were so confusing and it wasn't clear that the pros outweighed the cons, which gave me a very uneasy feeling as I votes. I did as much research as I could, but in the end I went with my gut for those props that were shades of gray. *sigh*

In the end there were three votes that I was sure about:
1. Obama for President
2. Yes on Prop 1A (though I see the point made by those against on this one)
3. No on Prop 4
4. No on Prop 8

All the frustration reminds me of the time how my brother and I received last years ballots in Spanish instead of English. I'm not that good at Spanish. Geez.

I don't know. It just seems like this whole voting process seems overly complicated sometimes.

I found this through a friend's facebook posting. Hart Seely has found the poetry in Sarah Palin's speeches.

The Poetry of Sarah Palin.

Pretty genius if you ask me.

My sister and her boyfriend are officially engaged. Yay!


I've known about it for weeks, but had to keep it a secret from my parents, because my sister really wanted her boyfriend to ask my Dad's permission. She's a traditionalist at heart, and it's all very sweet.

We all figured they would get married eventually, as he's been a part of the family for years. We just didn't know when it was going to be. :)

Now all the planning for the event will be going on over the next year. My sister wants a small wedding, which makes things easier. All I can say is that I am very, very happy for her.

* * *

Speaking of weddings. I'm thrilled that California has legalized gay marriage. It's about time, and I plan to help keep it that way any way I can. Now if we can just get all those other states to follow suit...